is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
