so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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