I accidentally burped into my bong.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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