1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
