Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
