My girlfriend figured out who you are.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
