she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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