She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
