So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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