Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
