Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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