he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
