I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
