Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize