yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
