The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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