sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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