Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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