come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
