I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
