Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize