I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
