i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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