Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just high enough for therapy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
