Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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