I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
