I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
