She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
