Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
