What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
