The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
