Don't you send me to vm
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
