I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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