I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
