He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize