Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
