Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
