My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
