Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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