i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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