Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
