I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
