I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
