I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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