You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize