I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
