we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Blood and glitter go together right?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
