He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
