Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
