I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
