Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
