You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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