I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
