Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
