I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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