obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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