Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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