I bet he comes in French.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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