absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
