so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
