I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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