What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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