just come out here and I will go home with you...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
