either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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