oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize