Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize