i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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