We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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