How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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